7 Simple Ways to Create a Marriage That Rocks

By Byron Davis on Friday, January 24, 2014

7 Simple Ways to Create a Marriage That Rocks

It is rare for our home page to be turned over to the husband of one of our members.  But the few times it has happened, it has always been a genuine treat.  Today is no exception.

Byron Davis is a life and career coach, the founder of Live Your Epic Life, and most importantly, a phenomenal husband.  I know this about him because I know him personally, as well as his beautiful wife, Annett. 

He adores his wife.  Is never afraid to dote over her in public.  Respects her.  And is her greatest supporter.

Annett and Byron were college sweethearts, and although they celebrated their 17th anniversary last year, I can honestly say they still remind me of two newlyweds.

I have watched their relationship over the years and their love -and marriage- is the real deal.  And now he’s joining us to share some simple tips on creating, and maintaining, a beautiful marriage that lasts a lifetime.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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There are a few times a year when it just feels right to declare epic shifts and we desire to push the reset button on purpose in order to reboot our lives.

The first month of the year is one of those times. Now is the perfect time to refresh our minds, our bodies, and our marriages so that we continue to make our marriages “epic” by intentionally making the rest of our lives the best of our lives!

7 Simple Ways to Create a Marriage That Rocks!

1. Keep Your Marriage A Top Priority

I realize this first one should go without saying but everyone knows how “life” goes. We get busy and over extended and the first two things we seem to always neglect are our health and our marriages. Get clear about the 2 or 3 things you and your spouse love doing together every month and protect those times together. Put them in your schedule immediately before the tyranny of the urgent sets in.

2. Renew Your Vows In A Fun And Creative Way

Renewing our vows is always a special time. If you have not done it in awhile, why not have some fun with it. Instead of the traditional “church” or scenic park, why not arrange to do it on the back nine of a golf course, or on surf boards, or on the top of Mount Whitney. I think you get the drift. Make renewing your vows an epic and creative event to commemorate the bond between you two.

3. Put Your Spouse First Then Your Kids

Just like it makes sense to place your oxygen mask on before you place the mask on your kids (in case of an emergency plane landing), it’s important to take care of the health of your marriage before you attend to the kids.

This is great advice for two simple reasons: 1. If you truly want the best for your kids, then be sure to model the best in front of your kids. 2. The more strong and happy you are with your spouse the stronger and happier the whole family will be. My family is one of the happiest I’ve ever seen, and I truly believe it’s because my wife and I laugh and have fun together (it rubs off on the entire family).

4. Have a “State of The Union” Address

The first month of the year is a great time to take a walk in the park with your spouse and dream about how you want your year to play out. Highlight the blessings and milestones over the past year and establish what new and exciting things you will look forward to together. When you connect through this sort of exercise it puts both of your heads and hearts on the same page which instantly deepens the relationship without any more effort.

Here’s how we did ours (with all the questions we asked included)!

5. Change The World Together

Decide to be “that couple”, you know the one that gets all of your couple friends to volunteer for a day or do an epic bike ride or walk for a cause. When you both work together on something neutral like this, it brings you together in a unique sort of way that celebrates the “philanthropist” in both of you. Lead together. Don’t just do it together. Together, get others to join you.

6. Out Give Each Other

When both parties decide to try to out give each other unconditionally, it brings out the creativity in how you express appreciation for one another. Out giving each other also causes you to be more observant and in-tune with each others needs, wants, and desires. This regular kind of attention to each other develops a servant’s heart and a deeper appreciation for what each of you brings to the relationship.

7. Become Each Others Biggest Fan

This one is powerful. Ladies, take it from me, a “man’s man”; sometimes we are insecure little boys at heart and the one vote of confidence that trumps all others is yours. When you encourage and correct us (by making it seem like it was our idea, in the ninja sort of way that you do) we feel like we can take on the world and would do anything in turn to support you. When both parties are in on the act, the more you give, truly the more you’ll also receive.

Make Today Epic,

Byron

Question:  What things do you intentionally do to make your marriage rock?

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Byron Davis is a former American record holder, lifestyle career coach and the creator of the popular audio program Unleash The Unstoppable You. He helps people get clear on their passion and shows them how to make a living doing and sharing what they love over at LiveYourEpicLife.com and via his podcast.

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • http://3brosflyingcircus.com/ Ringmaster

    One of my favorite activities to do with my husband is our weekly homeless feeding, People’s Park Tacos. We cook and server a meal to our local homeless community every week. I agree with you Byron it had deepened our bond as we have invited other couples to join us.

    • Annett Davis

      That’s great Ringmaster! Serving in the community is huge! Bringing others into the mix and involving others not only makes you feel better, but as a couple you know that you did something together to make a difference in the world. Byron always says, “Teamwork makes the Dream work.” Working together as husband and wife, and as a family unit, tightens our bonds, and makes for lasting memories.

    • coachbyron

      That’s awesome ringmaster. You are right. It does deepen the bond of your relationships. Thanks for sharing.

  • Pamela Wright

    We realized several years ago that we were letting the stresses of life get in the way, so we now make sure that our marriage comes before everything. Even just going for a coffee can be a great interlude as you’re out of the house and focusing on each other. Loved your post Byron, thanks for sharing.

    • Annett Davis

      I hear you Pamela…we have a favorite coffee spot in town and it’s great to just connect, even if it’s just for an hour. Making your marriage a priority is so key. Glad you liked my hubby’s post. :)

    • coachbyron

      Thank you Pamela. The little interludes are what make the big difference.

  • Evelyn

    Love this and extremely PROUD to say that we do all this! I have gotten negative comments from “friends” saying we express too much and should keep it private, it’s too much. Sorry won’t do that!!! I love and adore my Husband and kids and they see the love we have for each other and they are proud of us. My oldest looks at us like we’re crazy and he’s right!! I’m crazy in love with my Husband! We’ve been together for 21 years and it hasn’t always been all perfect but we have worked hard in keeping our family together!! I still get giddy when he comes home from work. Sorry for rambling on but what can u say! :-) Thanks to The Happy Wives Club for all their tips and pictures!! Love this site!!!

    • Annett Davis

      This is such an awesome and inspiring testimony Evelyn! Congrats on such a wonderful marriage! Be proud, it’s awesome! :) You’ll inspire others.

      • Evelyn

        I meant to say “what can I say” my apologies, just noticed it! Thanks again!

    • coachbyron

      Awesome Evelyn!

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    Happy 17 years, and may you have many, more more!
    I think my favorite suggestion is to out give each other. I’ve known too many couples that spend more time keeping track of who has done what so that they don’t give more than their share. What a shame!

    • Annett Davis

      Thanks Kim! We are one happy happy family! Looking forward to many many more! :) Glad you enjoyed my hubby’s post. :)

    • coachbyron

      Kim… you are so right. It hurts me see that happening knowing it does not have to be that way.

  • http://www.aterriblehusband.com/about/ ATerribleHusband

    I love it! I had the toughest struggle with the “wife over kids” shift. But it’s a powerful mindset. I live #5, too. We definitely don’t do enough things like this but I’m going to suggest a 5k to kick off a new chapter. Awesome post.

    • Annett Davis

      Awesome! 5K’s are great, and if you two get couples to join you even better! :) Byron’s my awesome hubby that’s why I’m writing you. I’m sure he’ll chat with you guys after his conference. :)

  • Victoria Evans

    After a he has a long day at work, I try to make home as stress free and relaxing as possible. I have dinner ready and let him pick what to watch on TV.

    • Annett Davis

      Great ideas Victoria! I’m sure he really appreciates that. :)

    • coachbyron

      It is cool that you are intentional about helping him de – stress. I am sure he appreciate s it.

  • inspired girl – barbara yaffee

    Great tips! We use many of your above tips. Also, we regularly do fun things together, make time for date night, make time to clear out the cobwebs, and easily give each other lots of space. Thanks for ideas, and for belief that passion and ‘inlove-ness’ can last!
    http://www.inspiredgirl.me

    • coachbyron

      Inspired girl, you are welcome. Rock on!

  • Gaye @ CalmHealthySexy

    I love hearing this great advice from a husband’s perspective. I think that putting the marriage before the kids is a hard one for many wives, and some husbands. One way we did this is by keeping the kids’ activities from completely taking over the family’s life. If the parents are “run ragged” all the time, it’s hard to save time and energy for each other.

    • Annett Davis

      What a great idea Gaye! When I speak to women at conferences, this is usually the toughest idea for women to take to heart. They ignore that one part of my presentation most times. :) You are so right. It’s like the kids come along and we forget we’re married. lol. But, as we know a healthy happy marriage is the best gift we can give a child. Thanks for sharing your great idea.

    • coachbyron

      Gayle, I Love your idea of not letting the kid’s activities crowd out yours. It is easy to let all of the stuff we do for our kids cancel out the kindle we need to keep the fire burning in our relationships.

      • Gaye @ CalmHealthySexy

        Thanks Byron and Annett – This post and the comments inspired me to go back to a post on controlling your family’s schedule that I wrote a year or so ago. I updated it and pinned it, in order to encourage other couples to think about managing their kids’ (and their own) activities in a way that promotes a strong marriage and family.

  • http://www.jackiebledsoe.com/ Jackie Bledsoe, Jr.

    This is a great post here! I’m glad to see another Happy Husband sharing his thoughts on HWC. :) I really like #4, and never thought of doing it in January, but doing it on our or around our anniversary which falls in the middle of the year. I like the idea of doing it the first month of the year, when everything kind of resets.

    I also like #5 and it is something my wife and I have talked a lot about recently…being “that couple” by being leaders. We’ve always preferred to sit back, but believe God is now calling us to be more out front in leadership roles together.

    Fawn, thanks for allowing a Happy Husband to share, and Byron great stuff! I’ll going to check out your podcast.