8 Great Ways to Connect With Your Spouse Today

By Fawn Weaver on Monday, December 9, 2013

8 Great Ways to Connect With Your Spouse Today

Connection.  For every one of us, it reveals itself in many different ways.  

For my twenty-something niece and nephew, the phone is a bit of a nuisance for anything other than taking pictures and interacting on social media or through text.  

Rather than enjoying the moment, they are busy creating the perfect picture to send out.

But for them, that is connection.  That is how they stay in touch; the way they reveal their greatest passions.

In marriage, there are so many ways to connect with your spouse.  

Really, this list could go on for days.  But there are a few that I love to use in my own relationship, and as far as connections go, if the hubby and I were any more connected, we’d be joined at the hip.

Feel free to add to this list using the comment section below.  Would love to hear how you and your husband connect best.  Here are 8 of my favorites.

1. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About.  Although the great Bonnie Raitt was singing about giving other folks something to talk about in this song, I’m referring to giving your spouse something to talk about?  

What is something your spouse loves to do; something he loves to talk about.  Engage him in that subject and then take joy in hearing his excitement in that particular thing. Especially, if it’s a topic you could ordinarily care less to hear about. Showing your interest builds connection.

2. Give Your Marriage a Healthy Dose of Vitamin F2.  When the fabulous Maggie Reyes at ModernMarried.com introduced us to this new vitamin a few weeks ago, I literally started clapping when reading her post, “Yes, yes, yes!”  Just like our bodies need vitamin A, B, C, D and a ton of others, our marriage needs a daily dose of F2.  What is Vitamin F2 you ask?  It stands for Flirt and fun and there are may, many ways to achieve that. 

3. Disconnect the Cable.  Okay, well maybe you don’t have to turn it off completely but I can’t tell you how much the connection between my husband and I increased after we decided to disconnect the cable box.  For two years, we’ve been without television (with the exception of DVDs and Netflix) and it’s the greatest experiment in connection ever.  And during those occasions when we want to watch a game on TV (I’m a huuuuuge Spurs fan), we’ll make a date out of it and go somewhere showing the game.

4. Surprise Your Spouse for No Reason.  Have you noticed how the smallest thing becomes that much more significant once you offer it as a surprise?  For instance, if I call my husband on my way home and ask him if he’d like me to pick up his favorite dessert, he’s always extremely grateful for my thoughtfulness and will express his pleasure in that.  But if I pick up his favorite dessert and surprise him with it, he’s like a 7-year old on Christmas eve all over again.  There’s just something about those small, sweet surprises.

5. Take a Walk…Even If Only in Your Backyard.  When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it thereon for 30 minutes?  I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another.  There is a lifeblood there that cannot be explained; only felt.

6. Ummmm…Sex, Well Duh.  We don’t talk about sex very much on Happy Wives Club but when we do, that posts gets shared like crazy!  I think there’s a reason for that.  The connection that comes when the two…literally…become one is unlike any other bond.  The key is in enjoying it and if you’re not there yet, stick with us (and read posts like this) because once you truly begin to enjoy it, it’s really like nothing else.

7. Exercise Together.  You might be thinking, “Really, with what time?  I barely have a moment to do 5 sit-ups.”  I hear you!  Been there, experienced that.  Here are a few quick and easy workouts you can do.  But if you can go for a run together, do push-ups together, whatever – just have fun with it.  The great thing about exercising together (even if for only 15 minutes) is you will both release endorphins at the same time and those fabulous “happy hormones,” are pretty fantastic to enjoy with your best friend.

8. Read a book together.  Recently, I ran into actress Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin.  I’d sent them an advance copy of my book and they were talking about how much they were going to enjoy reading it together.  It was actually the first time I’d even thought about how much fun it might be to read with your spouse. The important thing is to get a book you will both enjoy reading.  (For my own little plug here…every man who has read an advance copy of Happy Wives Club has so far loved it because it’s not like any other marriage book.)  

QUESTION: So what other things do you do to connect with your spouse?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day! 

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • Lynne

    My husband and I are both overweight but hadn’t been making time to exercise. We now get up half an hour earlier than he needs to (for work) so we can go for a walk together. Let me say that this is three hours before I normally used to get up (8am – I’m retired). Yes, it’s taken a while for my body clock to accept the new time schedule, and I was incredibly tired for the first two weeks but we haven’t missed a day in the past sixteen! We walk later on weekends because he doesn’t have to go to work and we don’t have children at home so we are free to shuffle our schedule like this.
    The benefits are that we are both losing weight, we must be getting fitter (although I haven’t seen any evidence yet) and, best of all, although we rarely talk while walking (it’s too early for me but I’m getting better), last night my husband told me the best thing about walking is the extra time we get to spend together! I think he also likes that I now walk him out to the car in the morning and give him a big lip-smacking kiss in the driveway where he used to only get to kiss the cheek of his “sleeping beauty”. Finding time can be done if we really want it badly enough — there’s no way I would have considered walking at 5am a few weeks ago but God is very gracious at answering our prayers.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      This is awesome, Lynne! Over time, as you both begin shedding that weight, I can’t wait to see another comment from you. Not only did you two begin to connect even more but you’ll begin heading back toward a healthier you. Beautiful.

  • AnneeM

    My husband and I do nearly everything together… But one thing I enjoy is when we go camping we play Yahtzee or other games.. A little competition can be very fun… … We also like to go up to the mountains not to a resort… Just drive up on forest roads have a picnic.. Many things we are refreshed and more loving after we get away alone together.. I believe in disconnecting from cable now and again… Even for a few hours.. We talk during the day.. Snuggle at night.. Always kiss always say we love each other and even when we have disagreements… We don’t go to bed angry but we give each other space..my husband says the best words I can say to him when it’s warranted is thank you and I’m sorry… The love is in each of those just by acknowledging that he did something fore and that when I am wrong I can apologize because that also shows respect for his feelings.. Simple things usually mean the most.. I’ve been trying to get him to exercise with me… But it hasn’t worked so far.. Maybe in the new year!!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Great additions, Annee!

  • m

    i love the list above very inspiring, although i simply cannot drag my husband away from the sports channel we connect at a very odd time of the night when i would wake up for the millionth time to go to the bathroom as i am expecting. He would get up with me make some tea or just rub my tummy and it starts a conversation and we talk about anything and everything and even though I feel like crap the next morning the load just seems a bit lighter because we would then talk about things we couldn’t say to each other when we had a fight of for what ever reason we couldn’t speak. I love reading your posts I am only married almost a year but I haven’t been more inspired to be happily married for the rest of my life.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you so much for your kind note and congrats on the little one on the way! Your husband sounds like a wonderful (and incredibly thoughtful) man.

  • http://www.encourageyourspouse.com/ Lori Ferguson

    Robert and I have been clearing out old boxes – you know, those boxes that are moved from one house to the next, are important, but not urgent… And never fully unpacked. We found our love letters and cards to each other before we were married (30 yrs ago). And memorabilia from when we were dating.

    Like magic we were 16 and 18 again – with all the tingles of being a young, dating couple with a whole future ahead of us… Yup. Feeling connected! ;-)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      No way! That must have felt absolutely amazing. Hopefully, you’ll scan a copy and share it on encourageyourspouse.com :) .

  • HappyWifeDeb

    We do a lot of the same things you mentioned here. We too have shut the cable off over a year ago and downloaded a few channel apps on our iPad. We have certain shows we watch together on certain days and we lay back in bed and cuddle while watching one of our favorite shows. We flirt like crazy. We always compliment each other. We will say something like wow you look hot today, or hey handsome etc… We have a lot of naked time when the kids are not around. We make love a lot also. When one of us is hurting the other puts our hand on the others heart and prays for them to have healing in their heart. We spend a lot of time together. We try not to let others come before our together time. We go out with our friends together. We hold hands and kiss a lot. We do our best not to take each other for granted. When he goes to work I make his lunch then put a love not in his lunch box every day with hearts and kiss all over it. He keeps every one. We talk about everything. We have an unusual love story. I would love to share it someday with you Fawn. There is so much more that we do but you get the jist. We have a lot of fun together and enjoy each other’s company at all times.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      I can’t wait to hear your unusual love story, Deb!

  • Stephanie

    I enjoy helping my husband in the garage on car projects almost as much as he enjoys going somewhere to take pictures with me. I am a stay at home Mom with a photography business and he is in the Air Force. We have 3 daughters between us that keep us busy, so the garage time is great because kids do not often venture out there! When the kids are with their other parents, we will take time away together to take pictures or weekend getaways.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Now, that’s a new one for sure! Never heard anyone in our HWC community say they enjoy the garage projects. Love it.

  • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

    I just love reading everyone’s comments! I believe the greatest way we can change the world is by adding more love to it. Thanks Fawn for adding love – big time! And to everyone for sharing about your lives and showing other people what is possible.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Me too, Maggie!! Agreed.

  • Katerina Pelzmann

    I wake up in the morning with my hubby to fix him his breakfast for work and then while he dresses I read him the daily text,a little something from the bible. Those minutes are so precious to us because even though he is in a hurry we still have this minutes to each other!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That’s fantastic!

  • Cynthia Nurss

    My husband and I JUST today agreed to join a yoga class in our neighborhood’s clubhouse each week Thurs nights at 8PM!!! This is confirmation! Thanks girl.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      You’re going to love it!