Connection. For every one of us, it reveals itself in many different ways.
For my twenty-something niece and nephew, the phone is a bit of a nuisance for anything other than taking pictures and interacting on social media or through text.
Rather than enjoying the moment, they are busy creating the perfect picture to send out.
But for them, that is connection. That is how they stay in touch; the way they reveal their greatest passions.
In marriage, there are so many ways to connect with your spouse.
Really, this list could go on for days. But there are a few that I love to use in my own relationship, and as far as connections go, if the hubby and I were any more connected, we’d be joined at the hip.
Feel free to add to this list using the comment section below. Would love to hear how you and your husband connect best. Here are 8 of my favorites.
1. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About. Although the great Bonnie Raitt was singing about giving other folks something to talk about in this song, I’m referring to giving your spouse something to talk about?
What is something your spouse loves to do; something he loves to talk about. Engage him in that subject and then take joy in hearing his excitement in that particular thing. Especially, if it’s a topic you could ordinarily care less to hear about. Showing your interest builds connection.
2. Give Your Marriage a Healthy Dose of Vitamin F2. When the fabulous Maggie Reyes at ModernMarried.com introduced us to this new vitamin a few weeks ago, I literally started clapping when reading her post, “Yes, yes, yes!” Just like our bodies need vitamin A, B, C, D and a ton of others, our marriage needs a daily dose of F2. What is Vitamin F2 you ask? It stands for Flirt and fun and there are may, many ways to achieve that.
3. Disconnect the Cable. Okay, well maybe you don’t have to turn it off completely but I can’t tell you how much the connection between my husband and I increased after we decided to disconnect the cable box. For two years, we’ve been without television (with the exception of DVDs and Netflix) and it’s the greatest experiment in connection ever. And during those occasions when we want to watch a game on TV (I’m a huuuuuge Spurs fan), we’ll make a date out of it and go somewhere showing the game.
4. Surprise Your Spouse for No Reason. Have you noticed how the smallest thing becomes that much more significant once you offer it as a surprise? For instance, if I call my husband on my way home and ask him if he’d like me to pick up his favorite dessert, he’s always extremely grateful for my thoughtfulness and will express his pleasure in that. But if I pick up his favorite dessert and surprise him with it, he’s like a 7-year old on Christmas eve all over again. There’s just something about those small, sweet surprises.
5. Take a Walk…Even If Only in Your Backyard. When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it thereon for 30 minutes? I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another. There is a lifeblood there that cannot be explained; only felt.
6. Ummmm…Sex, Well Duh. We don’t talk about sex very much on Happy Wives Club but when we do, that posts gets shared like crazy! I think there’s a reason for that. The connection that comes when the two…literally…become one is unlike any other bond. The key is in enjoying it and if you’re not there yet, stick with us (and read posts like this) because once you truly begin to enjoy it, it’s really like nothing else.
7. Exercise Together. You might be thinking, “Really, with what time? I barely have a moment to do 5 sit-ups.” I hear you! Been there, experienced that. Here are a few quick and easy workouts you can do. But if you can go for a run together, do push-ups together, whatever – just have fun with it. The great thing about exercising together (even if for only 15 minutes) is you will both release endorphins at the same time and those fabulous “happy hormones,” are pretty fantastic to enjoy with your best friend.
8. Read a book together. Recently, I ran into actress Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin. I’d sent them an advance copy of my book and they were talking about how much they were going to enjoy reading it together. It was actually the first time I’d even thought about how much fun it might be to read with your spouse. The important thing is to get a book you will both enjoy reading. (For my own little plug here…every man who has read an advance copy of Happy Wives Club has so far loved it because it’s not like any other marriage book.)
QUESTION: So what other things do you do to connect with your spouse?
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
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