7 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive After Baby is Born
By Paula Rollo on Wednesday, May 22, 2013
If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time, you likely know my pathway to children has been a windy one. That’s why I’m so grateful for all the wonderful contributors of this club who give a beautiful perspective on remaining blissful in marriage…even after children.
Enjoy one of our favorite bloggers, Paula Rollo.
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
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Life with a newborn can be challenging, never mind trying to keep the romance alive in marriage, knowing full well that the baby could interrupt at any moment. So what’s a couple to do?
Alex and I have successfully made it through the newborn stage twice in less than 3 years, so I’m here to share a few tips for keeping the romance alive and the marriage strong, even with tiny babies!
Plan Ahead - Before kids, you could go out on a date whenever you wanted or stay up all night chatting, with a baby, it takes a lot of planning ahead to make any of that happen, but it can still be done!
Expect Plans to change - All the planning in the world can’t change a sick baby or a sleepless night! Many times the best laid plans will fall to pieces, don’t get discouraged when this happens, just keep trying!
Date Night - After baby comes along, date night becomes much more complex; organizing babysitters, bottles and bedtimes it can sometimes seem like more of a hassle than it’s worth, but don’t neglect it! If you don’t have a sitter, there are some fun ways to bring date night to your house, and have a romantic night in! All it takes is a little imagination and the desire to make it happen.
Take a Nap- It sounds silly but sometimes napping can be important to a marriage! If you run yourself ragged taking care of kids all day (and night), by the time your spouse comes home you have nothing left to offer. Don’t let yourself feel guilty if you need a nap, taking time to rest is good for you, and your marriage!
Talk about it - Keeping the lines of communication open is important now, more than ever before. Discuss the challenges you are each facing as you create your new life, warn each other if you are having a rough day and find creative ways to support each other through it all! A little chat can go a long way in keeping the romance alive.
Remember your spouse - After my kids were born, it was so easy for me to get wrapped up in their needs, and even my own that I would forget that my husband had needs too. Take time to think about your spouse and ways you can show him love, the extra effort may take a bit of energy, but it will be well worth it to let him know how much you love and appreciate him!
Be patient - Even though it feels like it might, this season of life won’t last forever, the baby won’t always keep you up all night and you will have energy again (yes, even before the kids are out of the house!).
Marriage does change a lot after baby, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Take it from Alex and me, we know.
QUESTION: How do you keep the romance alive with kids?
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Paula Rollo: Paula & her hubby have been happily married for 4 years. They decided to tie the knot after knowing each other for just 35 days! They now have 2 rambunctious kiddos known as Little Man (2) and The Princess (7 mos). The family resides in Texas in a small but lively apartment. Paula and her hubby love to play board games, take long walks with the kids and they both LOVE the Texas heat!
Paula also has a passion for writing. Her compositions have been featured many places around the web, including her own blog Beauty Through Imperfection where she writes about motherhood and strives to be an encourager through her writing.
Thank you for sharing! We have a 1 year old and another on the way in July so I think we def need to remind ourselves to remember each other. It’s so easy to forget about your spouse when you’re so busy and spread so thin already. I highly recommend the naps when possible!! I try to do that as much as I can now so when hubby comes home he doesn’t come home to some exhausted, irritated woman.
Paula Rollo
I definitely had to do a lot of napping when I was pregnant with my 2nd as well! congrats on the new baby!!! Life with two kiddos is a challenge, but it’s wonderful!!! I’m so glad this post was a helpful reminder for you <3 Paula
Congrats on both little ones, Melanie! You are a lucky lady!
Gabrielle Daigle
Such practical tips! I love Paula’s writing, and she’s especially on target with these tips. We have three young kids, and it is so important to be intentional about your marriage.
Yes! Something if we make the intention to do it before they come, will likely have a greater chance of happening once they do. Do you agree?
Rheanna
great post! I love the take a nap part. It’s so true. Even a short nap can make you feel like you’re starting over!!! yay!
http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club
Thanks, Rheanna! Yes, a short nap can do a wonderful .
mich
I have a four year old and a little one on the way. the best thing I could’ve done for my marriage was to set early routines for my daughter so she had a set sleeping time. and the rest of the evening would be me and hubby time. she falls asleep round about the same time every night its not always been smooth sailing but when there were hiccups along the way they were easier to deal with. Thanks for the tips it really helps.
http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club