12 Gifts of Marriage: Day 5 {bonus: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway}

By Fawn Weaver on Sunday, December 29, 2013

12 Gifts of Marriage - Day 5

       DAY 5: CREATING HISTORY

The beauty of things that happen organically.  Following yesterday’s post, I received numerous notes from encouraged couples – spouses reading it together.

One comment from Cheri Gregory became the inspiration for today’s gift: Creating History.

“Although The Story of Us was not the romantic comedy we were hoping for when we saw it on a date night 15 years ago, I’ve always remembered these lines, spoken by the wife when she realizes she doesn’t want to file for divorce:

‘There’s a history here, and histories don’t happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don’t want another city, I like this city.’

“The “history” she speaks of is built from bearing witness to each other’s lives day in and day out.

“For me, ‘a place called home‘ is about this shared history.  I can start asking, ‘Do you remember when…?’ and my husband will start to laugh because he knows exactly what I’m referring to. Sometimes, all it takes is a look.

“According to Daniel Goleman (and others), couples become biologically wired to be together, to the point that when one spouse dies, the other is truly lost because the carrier of all that history, the co-creator of ‘home,’ is gone.”

Fifteen years from now, on our silver anniversary, we plan to once again renew our vows.  As my husband twirls me around on the dance floor, all guests in attendance will know they aren’t just watching two people dancing cheek-to-cheek, they’re witnessing history being created.

Today, I encourage you to take some time to think about the history you and your spouse have created thus far.  Pull out photo albums, look through your Facebook photos and marvel at the wonder of your life.  Whether up or down, it’s a beautiful life.

Please join me tomorrow for Day 6 of this series and before you leave today, if you so desire, scroll down to participate in our 12 Days of Christmas spectacular giveaway.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR GIVEAWAY

I’ve never done a series quite like this before.  Every day, for 12 days, I will post an encouragement for your marriage at the top.  And then, a pretty spectacular giveaway at the bottom in honor of the release of my upcoming book, Happy Wives Club. (Still can’t believe we are less than 2 weeks away from its release!)

TODAY’S GIFT: $500 Best Buy Gift Card!

No purchase is necessary, entering to win is simple, and you control your number of entries.  But if you do choose to pre-order the book (Amazon and Barnes & Noble have it 25% off today), make sure to scroll down because we’re giving you tons of FREE STUFF!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are the details for the awesome FREE GIFTS you’ll get for pre-ordering Happy Wives Club today. (**If you’ve already pre-ordered, you get these too!)

HWC_PreOrderGifts_920x786_4

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

  • Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
  • An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
  • 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

  • Get all the great gifts from the list above
  • The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
  • The Official HWC “Happy” Mug
  • Invitation to join Fawn’s private book club Facebook group where she’ll personally guide you through the lessons contained in this book and answer your questions

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • Vicky McCollum

    I love this web site and book I plan to put it towards my life everyday thank you vicky

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Vicky! So happy to hear that. Touches my heart. Stay in touch :) .

  • Karen Parker

    I love your Facebook posts. I look forward to reading them and getting ideas to help improve my husband’s and my marriage. Thank you so much.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      So honored to be able to share ideas that are helping to improve your marriage. Thank you for sharing that, Karen.

  • Kris ‘Kroll’ Wood

    Keep up the good work!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you so much, Kris. Appreciate your note!

      • Kris ‘Kroll’ Wood

        You’re welcome! I posted on your FB page about creating history today too, but wanted you to know I appreciate your efforts!

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          Oh, thank you so much, Kris!

  • Cecilia Wessels

    I preordered your book via Kindle. Very quick and easy, just a tiny bit more expensive in
    Canada.
    I try not to read all your posts, as I’m trying really hard to practise what you preach first before adding to my toolbox for my marriage.
    The small changes are working….I’m holding his hand again….

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh yeah! And this 12-day series is great for you because there’s nothing here to practice. It’s just meant to be an encouragement. A reminder of all that is beautiful about marriage (especially, yours).

  • Anissa

    I loved Cheri’s wonderful comment yesterday about “Creating History”. We need to keep in mind that our Marriage Story is not only our history, but our children’s also. Our marriage makes a huge impact on how they see marriage, how they will create their own marriage in the future, which will eventually become their own Marriage Story that they share with their children. Right now we are “Living Our Legacy of Marriage” for future generations, as well as “Living Our Legacy of Family,” for we can not create a Happy Family without first having a Happy Marriage, and we can not have a have a Happy Marriage, without first having a Happy Wife and Happy Husband.

    There are many things in life that come against a couple to derail their marriage, but great resources like Happy Wives Club are a powerful tool to help us to stay on track, or to help us get back on track with Creating A Legacy of Love for our marriage, for our family, and for future generations.

    Fawn and Keith thank you for your sacrifices, dedication, and commitment in creating Happy Wives Club. Thank You for investing into the lives of countless marriages, strengthening families, and turning the tide against the enemy. It is our prayer in the Name of Christ Jesus that the divorce rates will plummet and Loving Marriages and Families with sky rocket!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Wow. Thank you so much for this note, Anissa. I’m going to show it to Keith right now. It’ll make him smile. :)

  • Wendy Fertig

    I just joined the Happy Wives Club…and I am SO looking forward to getting special things in my email. I am 45…and 30 years ago, I met my first love….he felt the same way, but he was 7 years older than me…and it was frowned upon…we lost touch and took different paths in our lives. This year, God brought us back into one another;s lives and we got married Sept. 6 2013. So I have my first love and my last love. God is TRULY good and we are SO happy. My life was going in a downward spiral…I thought God had given up on me, when in reality I had given up on God…3 days before seeing him again, I tried to take my own life, as I was tired of the abuse, the hurt, emotional and physical that I had been through and thought that was all I was destined for. God truly had his hands on me…and 3 days later, Monty came back into my life and it was honestly like NO time had passed. I am truly blessed with a wonderful,loving, man of God as my husband…and we continue to grow each and every day. Thank you so much for your inspiring words and I have pre ordered your book and I can’t wait to get it and read it! You are truly a blessing to many Fawn…thank you again! Wendy Fertig…:)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Wow, Wendy. So happy God didn’t allow you to preemptively end your life. When you get the book, you will find, I at one time attempted to do the same. You were created for something so much greater! Please let me know how you enjoy the book once you receive it. And something tells me you will be able to relate to quite a bit in there. Congratulations on your recent nuptials!

  • Chi

    HELLO IS ANYONE OUT ESPECIALLY LADIES OPINIONS THAT CAN HELP! I HAVE FAILED IN MY MARRIAGE, I DID NOT CHEAT, NO DRUGS, NOT ABUSE, BUT ARGUMENTS INVOLVING PAST ISSUES… MY WIFE OBVIOUSLY WANTS OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE AND SHE ALWAYS THREATENS A DIVORCE! WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ONLY 14 MONTHS, AND WE ARE BOTH 27YRS OLD WITH NO CHILDREN. I LOVE THAT WOMAN TO DEATH AND SHE KNOWS IT BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT SHE IS SO SECURE WITH MY LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS THAT EARLIER ON PRETTY MUCH A WEEK AFTER OUR WEDDING SHE DID SOMETHING NO MARRIED MAN WOULD LIKE TO SEE AND HEAR OFF WHICH INVOLVED A VACATION AND GIRLFRIENDS AND CLIMBING ON MEN DOING THE BUMPING AND GRINDING DANCE WHILE HEAVILY INTOXICATED. I WAS OUTRAGE BY THIS AND SINCE THEN I HAVE HELD IT AGAINST HER. BUT I DID TRY TO GET OVER IT AND MAKE IT WORK AND SINCE THEN THERE HAVE BEEN LITTLE THINGS HERE AND THERE LIKE HER CALLING HER EX, LOOKING UP ANOTHER EX ON GOOGLE AND FACEBOOK, SHE LIED ABOUT A FORMER FLING AND CLAIMED HE WAS A BEST FRIEND, AND SOMETIMES SHE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY MADE ME FEEL LESS OF A MAN SOMETIMES WITH HURTFUL WORDS FROM HER MOUTH BECAUSE AS I LOVE HER, ONLY HER WORDS CUT THE MOST. I KNOW SOME OF YOU WOULD ASK WHY I STILL LOVE THIS WOMAN, THE ANSWER IS I INVESTED MY ALL IN HER AND SHE HAS BEEN VERY LOVELY A LOT AND BEEN THERE FOR ME THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES AND NOT OUT OF PITY BUT LOVE FOR HER AND MY WEDDING VOWS UNDER GOD I DON’T SEE DIVORCE AS AN ANSWER. I AM USUALLY THE ONE PUSHING FOR A COUNSELOR WHICH WE HAVE NEVER GOT TO SEE YET BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IT WILL CHANGE ANYTHING IN ME? HER PROBLEM WITH ME WAS SINCE EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED I HAVE BEEN MORE CONTROLLING, INSECURE, MONITORING E.T.C LADIES I CANNOT HELP IT BUT HER PREVIOUS ACTS BROKE MY TRUST AND I URGED HER THAT SHE NEEDED TO BE CONSISTENT WITH ME FOR ME TO EVER GET BACK TO TRUSTING HER AND NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT HER WHEN SHE IS AWAY AT WORK AND VICE VERSA. ALSO I DO HAVE SOME ANGER ISSUES WHICH STEMS FROM MY CHILDHOOD FROM ABANDONMENT FROM MY FATHER, BUT WHEN I MET HER I WAS THE HAPPIEST OF MEN AND I NEVER REVEALED THAT UNTIL SHE BETRAYED MY TRUST AND SINCE THEN WHEN SHE DOES THINGS I DON’T LIKE I FLY OFF THE HANDLE WHEN I KNOW SHE IS LYING AND MAKES ME SEEM LIKE I’M STUPID AND JUST BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE AND CAN’T CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. SHE TELLS ME I TALK TOO MUCH LIKE A WOMAN AND HANGS UP THE PHONE ON ME WHEN I WANT TO TALK THINGS OUT UNLESS ITS AT HER OWN TIME OF CHOOSING… LADIES I KNOW I AM WRONG FOR WHAT I DO IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH SHE DID SOME WRONG THINGS SHE’S MADE SOME ADJUSTMENTS BUT SHE IS NOT CONSISTENT AND THATS MY PROBLEM BUT I LOVE HER FOR TRYING WHEN SHE MADE THE LITTLE CHANGES. I WANTED TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE FOR THAT, BUT YESTERDAY WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT BECAUSE I ASKED HER WHY SHE NEVER TEXTS ME BACK WHILE AT WORK AND CLAIMS SHE’S BUSY BUT I FIND OUT SHE TEXT OTHER PEOPLE BACK LIKE HER BEST FRIEND, FEMALE FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS E.T.C; THEN SHE IGNORES ME AND PLAYS STUPID LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT AND THEN HANGS UP ON ME AND THEN KEPT SAYING SHE IS TIRED OF OUR MARRIAGE AND WANTS TO LEAVE ME… I AM SADDENED BY HER LACK OF EMPATHY AND NON SERIOUS COMMITMENT TO UPHOLDING OUR MARRIAGE VOWS AND THINKING DIVORCE IS THE BEST OPTION??? I’M EXHAUSTED LADIES AND I JUST WANT TO KNOW DO YOU THINK MY MARRIAGE IS WORTH SAVING AND I’M JUST A A DEAD END?