School of Marriage

Marriage is like a school. And your husband, like a teacher. His syllabus includes courses on language (his love language), mathematics (household finances), anatomy and science (physical intimacy), political science (how the world works according to him) and history (how his past will affect your future).

Unlike most teachers, however, he is likely unqualified to teach. Meaning, he likely doesn’t know most of the lessons he is tasked with teaching. For instance, in the area of anatomy and science, he’s charged with not only teaching you what pleases him but what pleases you. Your body is unlike any other. It’s unique. It requires exploration and can take years of dedicated study to truly be understood. And yet, he must understand it intimately in order to teach it.

His course on mathematics will depend on what he’s learned prior to marrying you and there are few schools which teach this discipline. Unless he grew up being taught valuable lessons about personal finances, chances are he’ll struggle to teach this course, as well.

His lessons on history can send him into deep waters which may be best not to tread. But without in-depth teaching in this area, could leave many questions in your mind. Although his syllabus states the political science course will be taught without bias, his personal experiences and early indoctrinations have shaped his thoughts and opinions and will likely be embedded in how he interprets all political matters.

And last but not least, he is charged with teaching you to speak a secondary language, his love language, fluently. He speaks it fluently. But has no idea how to teach it. His hope is that you’ll learn through language immersion. But a love language is the only language in the world which is not best learned through immersion but rather through being taught in the student’s primary language.

So how do we learn lessons from a teacher who is unqualified to teach and at a school with one of the toughest grading systems we’ll ever encounter? I’m a nerd by nature and a teacher’s pet (in my adult years, not in my childhood – God bless the teachers who put up with me in K-12). Getting an A in every course is important to me. I’ve studied hard in the School of Marriage, learning through my own experiences but most importantly, learning through the experiences of others.

Warren Buffet once said, “When people tell me they’ve learned from experience, I tell them the trick is to learn from other people’s experience.” I’ve been married 8 years. Hardly enough time to become a qualified teacher in every area. But I’ve studied other people, in the area of marriage, my entire life. My parents were marriage counselors and I’d eavesdrop on their counseling sessions growing up.

I’ve been fascinated by marriage my entire life. Not in terms of the fairytale wedding (I eloped) or the fabulous wedding gown (I wore a baby pink sweater) but the inner workings of marriage; what happens after the confetti has been thrown and the carefully chosen first dance song has long stopped playing.

I never wanted to be a counselor (still don’t) but I love marriage. I’ve enjoyed all 2,575 days of my marriage (no, really, I have) and what I’ve learned through my experiences, but more importantly, what I’ve learned through the experiences of others is the basis for what we’ll chat about this week as we dive into the areas of Language, History, Anatomy, Science, Mathematics and Political Science.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).