Dirty Dishes

I’m not a big television person. I probably watch TV once a month and go to the movies about as often. That is a part of what made last season’s American Idol so fascinating for me. Not only did I watch it every week but I then proceeded to vote the moment the phone lines opened and would press redial to cast my vote for the same person 100-plus times.

It all started during the American Idol auditions in Milwaukee. There was a 16-year old kid from Garner, North Carolina with a voice that reminded me of a younger Garth Brooks. He opened his mouth to sing the first few bars of Josh Turner’s Your Man (Baby, lock the door and turn the lights down low) in the deepest voice I’ve ever heard from a teenager and I was hooked! I told Keith, I want to adopt him! To which he quickly assured me this kid was doing just fine. Even still, you would have thought I was a proud mother the way I cheered for him all season long.

To this day, I don’t know how I as an African-American woman in her mid-thirties, born and raised in Los Angeles, working non-stop since I was 18-years old and moves at the pace of the energizer bunny fell in love with the slow, simple lifestyle provided only through country music. When Keith and I first met, he loved every type of music – and I mean everything from heavy medal to R&B – except country. But I was determined to make him a fan. Maybe I’ll write something about that funny transition later this week…

Anyhow, Scotty McCreery, the teenager from N.C. made a fan out of me – and America – from day one. One judge, Jennifer Lopez, after the audition said, “…he’s legendary” to which judge Randy Jackson said, “He’s on his way.” I drove my family crazy the entire season. They were all rooting for a few other contestants so we bantered about that every time I went to visit them. My mom was the only one who liked Scotty (likely because I think all moms liked Scotty).

So it’s no surprise when his album became available this past week, I went online and pre-ordered it. Yes, I was excited to purchase the CD of a 17-year old kid from the South. I popped the CD in my car stereo and blasted it for the hour long drive to my parent’s home and excitedly showed it off to them when I arrived. They all shook their heads (as country music isn’t exactly the genre played in the family household) but indulged me by allowing me to play my favorite tracks from the album. The first song I played was the one that quickly became my favorite on the drive over to the house: Dirty Dishes.

The melody and Scotty’s singing were great but what really got me were the lyrics:

Mama hollers “Supper time,
And don’t make me tell you twice
Wash your hands and wipe your face.
The table’s no place for your toys,
And try to use your inside voice,
Don’t dig in ’til we say Grace.”
So we put down our forks and bowed our heads
And then she prayed the strangest prayer ever said:

“I wanna thank You Lord,
For noisy children and slamming doors,
And clothes scattered all over the floor,
My husband workin’ all the time,
Draggin’ in dead tired at night,
My never ending messy kitchen
And dirty dishes.”

We all got real still and quiet,
And daddy asked “Hon, are you alright?”
She said, “Dear, ain’t nothing wrong,
Noisy kids are happy kids,
And slamming doors just means we live,
In a warm and loving home,
Your long hours and those dishes in the sink,
Means a job and enough to eat.

So I’m gonna thank You Lord,
For noisy children and slamming doors,
And clothes scattered all over the floor,
A husband workin’ all the time,
Draggin’ in dead tired at night,
A never ending messy kitchen

For my little busy bees
Beggin’ mama, mama can we please?
Always wantin’ me to call their name
Loads of laundry pilin’ up
Crayons crushed into the rug
And those little sticky kisses
And dirty dishes,
And dirty dishes…”

Listening to this song made me think about how grateful I am for my marriage, our love, our family and every single thing that makes us unique. I truly believe gratefulness is one of the most important ingredients in the recipe for a great life and a successful marriage. When Keith and I go out to dinner he teases me because I almost never bring my purse or wallet. “Why should I,” I tease, “We’re on a date.”

In the years we’ve been together, I’ve never taken for granted the times he takes me out to dinner (which is often since neither of us have much time to cook after work), to the movies or even buys me a frozen yogurt. And on the rare occasions I pull cash out of my pocket to pay for something, I still say thank you and show my appreciation for him going with me to the store or restaurant or movies. I’m grateful. There are many other things he could be doing and he’s chosen to do something with me.

Sometimes when we get comfortable in our marriage we can forget to say thank you. To show our gratitude to the one who has dedicated their life to us. We forget how much our husbands need to feel appreciated. We forget how much they need to know our lives would not be the same without them. Simple things like taking out the trash or changing a light bulb. “Thank you” is free and yet it’s one of the most valuable currencies around.

I know there are certain things we think our husband’s should just do. And most of it is true. But even if it’s something they should do and we expect them to do, it doesn’t mean we can’t show our gratefulness. G.K. Chesterton once said, “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to your husband or children for something they did or just for being? I am a true believer that gratitude is what opens the doors to sustained peace and happiness. When we focus on what is good and what is right, somehow what is less than perfect seems to fall by the wayside. A friend of mine posted on her Facebook page the other day, “When you change the way you look at things… The things you look at change.”

Look into your husband’s eyes today and find as much to be grateful for as possible and just keep saying “thank you” until he tells you to stop. I’m telling you, it works! They love it and they’ll love you more for it. And oddly enough, the more we say thanks, the more thankful we become, and the better our life will seem…and will be. Never underestimate the power and importance of gratitude.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).